Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Hold on to your hats, it's Jackson #3!

OK, if you read Carter’s birth story, you know that my plan was to have 2 kids. I only have 2 hands, there are only 2 parents, and it is all about logistics..HA! Sometime after Carter turned 3, I began thinking about whether or not we should have another baby.Truth be told, it probably would have been a much easier decision if I hadn’t been terrified of having 3 boys.Michael and I would talk about it, but I just could never commit to having another, although the thought of never having another made me sad…what to do, what to do.

The summer after Carter turned 3; Michael took his first head coaching job in Hillsboro, TX (about half way between Waco and Dallas). Now, this was 4 hours away from the mamas, which was quite a change from the 2 minutes we had been accustomed to.We got there, and the boys adjusted well.We were sure this was temporary and that we would soon be back in the Houston area (God willing).Towards the end of our first year there, I had the realization that I was 31, and if we were going to have another baby, that summer was it. I wasn’t having babies close to or after the age of 35 (that was the magic number in all of the books after all!).So, in April, we loosely agreed to begin trying that summer, preferably in July/August. If you work for the schools, that is prime baby time, because it means you won’t have to come back from maternity leave before summer.
Well, as usual, my plans were altered, and on May 8, 2007, we found out that I was, indeed, already pregnant. A little early, but I was excited.I just knew we were going to add a sweet little girl to these amazing boys that we already loved so much.If you know my family, you know that my plan for that baby girl was not realized (at least not yet). After the ultrasound, I was sad. Not because we were told it was boy, but I just knew that I would never have a daughter.I so wanted to experience that relationship.I adored my boys and wouldn’t change that mama/son relationship for anything in the world, but deep down, I felt like I was missing out.Maybe you want to roll your eyes or judge me and think I should have just been happy with a healthy baby…don’t worry, I’ve beaten myself up over those same issues. Judge away, but it was just the honest truth of how I felt.Blame it on my mom, lol, it was our relationship that I wanted with my own daughter one day.
As his due date approached, we again decided to induce.Timing was even more important this time since we were so far away from everyone, and the hospital was about 40 minutes from our house.On December 21, 2007, Cooper Reed Jackson was born and weighed in at a measly 6lbs. 7 oz.I was surprised because Carter had been over 8 lbs., so I just expected Cooper to be a little bigger.
Just before noon, the clouds parted and the angels sang, because when they put that baby boy in my arms, I saw a little piece of Heaven.I looked at Michael and cried “How could I have ever cared!!”That little ball of love was so sweet.I said over and over that I wished I had been a kangaroo so I could put him in my pouch.I couldn’t imagine anything different.He was so squishy and sweet!All of the thoughts of what I thought I was missing were washed away, and I was the proud mama of 3 boys. I would be queen bee, the only girl, and let’s face it; boys love their mama!
The only down side is all of the fun comments:“wow, 3 boys,” “you really need a little girl,” "they must keep you really busy,” and my favorite (insert sarcastic tone), “don’t you want to try just one more time?”

I began to get a little defensive (on the inside, because if you know me, you know how non-confrontational I am).I felt as if people thought something was wrong with me for having all boys.I, instead, think of it as an amazing challenge from God.Our society is running low on good Christian men, and I find it complementary that God has entrusted us to raise 3.Three, that I pray, will grow up and fill God’s Call in their lives and be loving, productive members of His kingdom.

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.~James 1:17

Cooper-You are a true gift from God.  You amaze us every day with your wit and your heart.  I am so thankful that God knew better than I did when He made you!  We are so excited to watch you grow and learn and develop into the person that you were created to be.  We love you more than you know and have cherished every minute of the last 4 years!

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